Psychology Personality Test.. betul ke ni?

Dear Yanna Azlan, below are your PSYCHOLOGY PERSONALITY test result:

Mysterious... oftentimes, a loner. You know your true friends and only them are allowed to understand the real you. ---> positive!

You hide your emotions... Sometimes pretending to be always happy. Sometimes, not giving even a hint of what you really feel. ---> definitely so true. it hurts me sometimes...

You search for love... you’re a hopeless romantic and every time you enter a relationship, you give your all and believe “this is the One.” ---> not really. i've involve in many relationship, but i only give my all to him =) honestly =)

You have so many ideas in mind... You’re creative and aggressive! If you want something, you’ll do anything to get it! ---> i have no idea bout tis

You’re a stubborn sweetheart... You “love” him/her only because he/she loves you. If his/her flame puts out, you let go with no trouble. ---> xsetuju sangat pasal ni.. i'll love him no matter what....

You’re intimidating! People have an impression that you’re elite—or if not, you simply look sophisticated. You gain praises but not companions. ---> true meh?

You love actions... with the hero-like taste! You focus on your strengths and use them to protect persons/things that are important to you. ---> haha macam betul je ;)

i lay my loves on you..

Mata dah berat.. Mengantok dari awal pagi tadi. Malam tadi tido xlena.. Tempat xselesa kot.. Tapi bila melihat orang tersayang, hati kembali tenang..

Tersedar awal pagi, tp kembali lena.. Hati xtenang bile memikirkan terpaksa pulang. Nape la mesti hari berlalu dengan pantas..

Dalam perjalanan, hati semakin tak keruan.. Aku x mahu pulang.. Aku mau sentiasa disisinya..

Kini malam sudah menjelma, tp aku tetap tidak mau lena. Hati terkenang si dia...


Aduhai.. Ibarat pungguk rindukan bulan..

e.m.p.t.y

its been a very hectic week for me. spend my whole week finishing my parent's hantaran. yeah.. i repeat, hantaran. cerai for almost 4 years, then they back together. yippie! sound like us. separating for 4 yrs, then me n my syg kapel balik. n alhamdulillah, we still love each other. hopefully, my parent pun camtu gak. i can see keceriaan in my mom's face. this is exactly what she's waiting for. i almost nangis bile para saksi kate 'sah'. i lost my bestfriend, my enemy, my mom. pasni i xde sape nk gaduh, nk share the bed. everything. 4thn ni aku ngan mak macam chopstik. xleh gune kalau ade satu batang je. pegi mane2 pun same. i cant stay at hostel, sebab asyik nk balik umah nak teman mak. tp skrg, aku dah xde reason nk balik. sbb mak dah ade teman balik. so, perhaps, she didnt need me now. seriously, i feel soo lonely.

my baby datang tis week sbb nk tgk atok nenek die kawen. lame xjupe. fazrul aiman haqim. i xtau nape i rase sangat2 attached to tis kid. aku rase macam anak sendiri. maybe bcoz bile aku ade, aku jaga macam btl2 anak aku. bg makan, bg ubat, mandikan.. sume tugas ibu. marah bile die nakal, pujuk bile die sedih, feed him bile die lapa.. even sleep with him. mase aku ade, die xnak langsung tido ngn parent die. die nak aku jugak. bile parent die buat xtau kat die, i get really angry. kalau x kerana aku masih kt uni, aku memang nk jaga die. tp my syg keep saying, limit ur feeling. its not ur child. yea.. the truth is ugly. td baru hantar diorang balik. seeing my aiman go, is the most hurtful~ i keep nangis till now. stupid me huh? he's not mine! but i miss him sooo much!!

hmm.. waiting for my syg to amek aku. anta ke hostel to pick my stuff. end of semester. still not graduating. to be honest, aku dah x minat study. all i keep thinking is start a family. having baby, making breakfast every morning, do their laundry, everything that housewife does...


roger out~

current mood: still empty.

Nobody's Home...

Well, I couldn't tell you
Why she felt that way?
She felt it everyday
And I couldn't help her
I just watched her make the same mistakes again

What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems
Don't know where she belongs
Where she belongs?

She wants to go home but nobody's home
That's where she lies
Broken inside with no place to go
No place to go to dry her eyes
Broken inside

Open your eyes
And look outside find the reasons why
You've been rejected
And now you can't find what you've left behind

Be strong, be strong now
Too many, too many problems
Don't know where she belongs
Where she belongs?

She wants to go home but nobody's home
That's where she lies
Broken inside with no place to go
No place to go to dry her eyes
Broken inside

Her feelings she hides, her dreams she can't find
She's losing her mind, she's fallen behind
And she can't find her place, she's losing her faith
She's fallen from grace, she's all over the place, yeah

She wants to go home but nobody's home
That's where she lies
Broken inside with no place to go
No place to go to dry her eyes
Broken inside

She's lost inside, lost inside
She's lost inside, lost inside


*Well.. i think this is the best song to reflect how i feel at this very moment....

Life is like.... Asam boi!

argh.. hari yang menyakitkan hati. sangat2 menyakitkan hati. badan sakit sangat sebab jatuh ari tu.. like nangka busuk! waaa... n its getting worse! xde orang tolong sapu minyak, tolong urut. sakit sangat. sekarang macam nak demam lak.. but still, abg tetap tolong urut pas jatuh mase tu. malu tetap malu. haha burok je! tapi nangis cam budak2. hahah tapi bile balik umah, xde sape nk urut.. sedih woo :'(

plus, have some disagreement with my mom n my sis. i need my space. i need to grow up on my own. im 23 for Godsake! n still sooo not independant. they still treating like im 10!?! sometimes i feel like they being real selfish. i know its bad to say things like tis, but its really hurting me. its not like i dun need 'em at all. i need them. i need my family. but y cant u just let me choose my own way? i'll learn from my mistakes.. that's how ppl learn isnt it?

gosh.. what about my bloody hell uni life? err.. do i even have life there? still stuck. got barred. damn! err.. its my fault actually. so i dun really mad. just a bit frustrated. got barred which mean more subject next semester. damn again! i wish semua lecturer xsuke muke aku kat kelas diorg, so that diorg leh pass kan je aku terus, so diorg xkan jumpe2 aku dah! hahaha what a life kalau betul2 camtu kan? ahahah~

ok. done. roger out!


ps: syg, a month (or maybe more), still xcukup!!!! miss u soo much already! i love u soo much, syg! mmmuah!!!!

jiwa raya...? bagaimana?

wah.. baju baru sudah. kasut baru sudah. kuih muih pun sudah. segala persiapan raya hampir selesai. namun, kenapa tiada keghairahan untuk menyambut syawal? sudah masuk tahun ke-4 aku langsung tiada rasa kemeriahan berhari raya. tiada ayah di pagi raya? ayah yang hanya muncul setelah selesai sembahyang raya? akan tetapi tahun ini dia bersama kami, namun mungkin hatiku sudah kaku, sudah beku untuk merasai kemeriahan ini. hati sudah tawar kerana sudah lama tiada bahagia. hati sudah layu kerana tiada gelak tawa. ya, kami masih seperti dulu. mungkin. saling tertawa. seakan-akan bahagia. namun, bahagiakah kami? atau hanya aku yang terlebih merasa?

aku rasa kosong. aku rasa sesat. salah aku kah? bukan ku pinta untuk berjiwa sebegini. namun, titik-titik hitam sudah mula kelihatan dalam hidupku. aku rasa aku semakin musnah...

B.A.H.A.G.I.A.

Nape terasa berat sangat utk pulang? Mestikah bahagia itu hanya datang kala bersama, bersua muka, namun hilang dimamah waktu pabila mula berjauhan?
Tadi ketika bersiar di Bb, ku lihat sepasang tua berpegang tangan seeratnya walau bukan dikawasan sesak atau sekadar untuk melintas. Mereka tersenyum riang. Bahagia. Terlintas sejenak di fikiranku, adakah kebahagiaan yang kami rasakan kini bakal berkekalan seperti mereka? Atau hanya bahagia ketika muda dan akan pudar melewati usia?

:-) aku bahagia kini.. Tp selamanya? Insya-Allah..

Kuharap bahagia. Kuharap kekal. Kuharap selamanya.

Amin~