its been a very hectic week for me. spend my whole week finishing my parent's hantaran. yeah.. i repeat, hantaran. cerai for almost 4 years, then they back together. yippie! sound like us. separating for 4 yrs, then me n my syg kapel balik. n alhamdulillah, we still love each other. hopefully, my parent pun camtu gak. i can see keceriaan in my mom's face. this is exactly what she's waiting for. i almost nangis bile para saksi kate 'sah'. i lost my bestfriend, my enemy, my mom. pasni i xde sape nk gaduh, nk share the bed. everything. 4thn ni aku ngan mak macam chopstik. xleh gune kalau ade satu batang je. pegi mane2 pun same. i cant stay at hostel, sebab asyik nk balik umah nak teman mak. tp skrg, aku dah xde reason nk balik. sbb mak dah ade teman balik. so, perhaps, she didnt need me now. seriously, i feel soo lonely.
my baby datang tis week sbb nk tgk atok nenek die kawen. lame xjupe. fazrul aiman haqim. i xtau nape i rase sangat2 attached to tis kid. aku rase macam anak sendiri. maybe bcoz bile aku ade, aku jaga macam btl2 anak aku. bg makan, bg ubat, mandikan.. sume tugas ibu. marah bile die nakal, pujuk bile die sedih, feed him bile die lapa.. even sleep with him. mase aku ade, die xnak langsung tido ngn parent die. die nak aku jugak. bile parent die buat xtau kat die, i get really angry. kalau x kerana aku masih kt uni, aku memang nk jaga die. tp my syg keep saying, limit ur feeling. its not ur child. yea.. the truth is ugly. td baru hantar diorang balik. seeing my aiman go, is the most hurtful~ i keep nangis till now. stupid me huh? he's not mine! but i miss him sooo much!!
hmm.. waiting for my syg to amek aku. anta ke hostel to pick my stuff. end of semester. still not graduating. to be honest, aku dah x minat study. all i keep thinking is start a family. having baby, making breakfast every morning, do their laundry, everything that housewife does...
roger out~
current mood: still empty.
No comments:
Post a Comment